Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
