I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
