after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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