Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
