Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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