So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
