its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize