I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Drunk is a universal language darling
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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