He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
