I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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