Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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