He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
