Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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