it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
