People with herpes should wear stickers.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
