May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
