Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Floor bacon is actually really good
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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