Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
