...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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