I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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