I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
