Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
