I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
