): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
