dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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