matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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