oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
