Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
