3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
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Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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