Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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