I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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