Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
