john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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