check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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