He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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