I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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