dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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