I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
