We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
