I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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