its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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