We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
