It's Friday. Sex?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
