and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
