she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize