if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize