I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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