just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
