I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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