just come out here and I will go home with you...
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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