Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
