That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize