Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
