I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
