Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
