And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
