OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
