No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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