UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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