marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you traded sex for a burrito?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
