please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
