i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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