do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
